Post by AmpTrooper on Oct 22, 2015 23:24:35 GMT -5
It has been a long while since I have been here. I am sorry for that. It is not right for me to not be here. Its not fair to the IRA Team or to all of you. As many of you know i have my own health problems that I have been dealing with but then my Mom got cancer, beat it but then it came back and now it is incurable and she is dying. As well, my problems increased due to having to care for my Mom daily. We are also making many trips to all kind of Drs as my wife maybe getting diagnosed with MS.
I have been in a very very dark place for a long while where I just didn't care about much of anything except to care for my Mom. I have lost several friends during this time which didn't help the matter at all. We have only one friend that lives up here were my Mom lives so I have no one close that isn't involved directly to talk to either. So, things were just very dark. I am trying to pull out of this. Its not easy as things are not getting any better with my life situation but I can't keep living like this either. I have stopped doing everything that I loved and care for. I dont do anything with the 501st anymore, I hardly ever play my drums or guitar, I don't make sabers or anything else for that matter. I just stopped and only took care of my Mom. I would come home and hit the couch and sleep until it was time to get up and go take care of my Mom again. What kind of life is that?
So, I am going to try my best to be here more often. It may not be everyday right now but I am at least going to be here a couple times a week. Again, I am sorry for not being here and am looking to change that.
Sorry for the tough times. I too have known the darkness. Wow, there is definitely a Dark Side quote or two here, but it's a little too easy. I started slow. Just pick something that's just for you, and allocate a little time to it. It doesn't matter what, what matters is that you just make a little corner for yourself. Don't pick a bunch of things, it just becomes overwhelming and unachievable. Start small so that it's easy and always positive. Let it come naturally, a little joy goes a very long way.
Good luck and try not to indulge the Dark Side. It loves to be fed.
Post by jedirobe77 on Oct 23, 2015 19:25:59 GMT -5
Amp, you may be in the dark right now but you are doing what a real man should do. That is doing what is right no matter the cost to yourself and being selfless so that your family is cared for. Be proud of yourself for that and try to find pleasure wherever you can. God bless.
Post by AmpTrooper on Nov 22, 2015 20:15:50 GMT -5
Thank you very much for the good vibes and prayers. I have been trying to keep positive. It is hard though. My doberman has been diagnosed with bone cancer. She is in bad shape and going to have to be put down soon. That makes 4 pets we have had to put down since moving up here to Indiana to care for my Mom. All of them near Christmas. When will it end!?!?!
Post by Luke Skywalker on Nov 22, 2015 20:31:37 GMT -5
Gee Corey. That's terrible. I wonder if you're located near a toxic waste dumps or something. The movie with John Travolta in Woburn MA where the leather company was dumping toxic chemicals in a stream and kids were getting sick. You haven't been up there that long.
Post by Darkside Engineering on Nov 23, 2015 0:08:12 GMT -5
Hi Corey, tough situation to be in, keep your head up, at some point thing will turn around for you but right now your probably feeling like Job and the Lord blessed him 10 times over so hang in there better times will come, holler at us if you need anything, you have friends here.